Jokes have many different varieties. Almost anything can be made into a joke, from politics to prominent personalities. Humorous dialogues are sometimes naughty and green and some are really offensive. The naughty nature of funny short jokes cannot be stricken completely since that the element that most people react to. Jokes are very good tools for breaking the ice. The best openers work effectively to release the tension. Most speakers start their speech with a good joke to get the attention of their audience. Jokes are quite effective in eliciting more interaction from the audience as well.
10. “Hang in there: Retirement is just thirty years away!”
Jokes related to jobs are one of the most common and people are always looking for the opportunity to deliver them. Making fun of their jobs or their friend’s jobs gives them the chance to release small tensions and for some, piss off their colleagues in a good-natured way. When it comes to work, retirement is always a favorite topic. This one is a classic. Those who have been working hard for many years would certainly be able to relate to the irony of the joke. For some people this may not sound as bitter as intended. Waiting for at least 30 years to get their retirement package might actually be worth it, not unless you are getting pennies for the past 30 years as salary, if course.
9. “Hard work pays off in the future but laziness pays off now.”
It cannot be helped if someone in the workforce actually slacks off. Even huge companies have this kind of problem. What makes this joke funny is the undeniable truthfulness behind the humor. In fact, lazy people can actually use this line as a motto. Laziness to some people just comes off naturally. No matter how hard they try not to be lazy there really is nothing else that comes through.
8. “Don’t steal, okay? The government hates competition”
Political themes are also one of the most popular jokes ever to be delivered. Many political jokes even mention specific government establishments or even controversial political personalities. This joke is actually saying that the government itself steals. There is a popular notion that there are those in the government who do. It’s not really funny when you come to think of it, but it still elicits guffaws (uncomfortable ones, actually). Just be careful not to tell this joke to any government official or you might regret you’ve ever told the joke at all.
7. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.”
Politicians don’t like to hear this joke at all especially during election period. Comparing a politician to a diaper may be funny for us, but it would definitely not be agreeable to them. This may be true for some but to be fair, the joke does not necessarily apply to every politician. Some are really doing a great job and deserves to be re-elected. But it can’t be helped that some rotten tomatoes end up spoiling the scene.
6. “Why was the strawberry late for work? Well, he was in a jam!
Fruits jokes are always funny. There’s something about fruits irony that tickle us when they are incorporated into a funny scenario. A strawberry late for work because it was on a jam is just so hilarious. It may also come out as really corny, but it depends on the sense of humor of the person the joke is delivered to.
5. “How do you know that a salesman is lying? Easy, his lips are moving!”
No offense to the millions of salesman out there but it is just a fact that people perceive you guys as liars. Every salesman has their own technique when it comes to selling up and spinning the truth about their products. They would say almost anything just to facilitate a sale. It is quite hard at first not to get hooked to the marketing skills of the best salesmen out there since everything they say just sounds so good you could barely resist. It is rather unfortunate that a salesman is completely perceived as a talking lying machine in every aspect, but that perspective is the basis of this joke which is actually quite funny.
4. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.”
Now, that’s funny. But seriously, skydiving has got to be one of the most frightening things to do. (Did you know that you need to sign a very detailed waiver and that “accidental death” is written on that document?” The slightest miscalculation or failure of equipment can cause you your life. Basically, what this joke wants to say is that sky diving is not for everybody. If you are successful for the first time then consider yourself lucky. If not, you won’t have to worry about bad luck at all, right?
3. “The best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk.”
Being drunk would have no sense if you do not experience any hangover at all. To some this may be a joke but those who love to drown themselves in alcohol takes this statement very seriously. It does make perfect sense after all. The best cure for hangover has been finally discovered.
2. “Alcohol kills slowly, so who’s in a hurry?”
Those who love to drink alcohol go by a certain code one of which can be extracted from this not so funny joke. Drinking alcohol has never been more enjoyable especially to those who cannot live without it. Ironic as it sounds, some people don’t really care about their future as long as they are enjoying their present.
1. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
When it comes to noodle jokes (or any of the jokes listed here) this one has got to be on top. A mix of world play as well as pronunciation would get a good laugh from many people. A good joke like this is perfect to be delivered on a dinner gathering or any event that serves noodles; or not.