Blonde jokes are funny if you’re not blonde. Others might disagree, but these jokes are not at all true because contrary to popular belief, blondes are not as intellectually challenged as the jokes suggest. These jokes are often hurtful and notoriously stereotypical. But heck, they are funny, and that is why we like sharing them around. They say that funny blonde jokes were devised by cunning brunettes who were crazy jealous of Marilyn Monroe for many reasons, one of which is because she got to spend private time with JFK.
Anyway, that being said, we have here a collection of the most hilarious dumb blonde jokes that you can get your hands on. The best thing about really funny jokes is that we don’t need to explain them anymore. For example: Q: How do you make a blond busy for seven hours? A: Give her M&Ms and tell her to make a word with them.
10. The blonde and the pig
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. She passed by a storefront where people were standing and someone asked her,”Where did you get that?”The pig replied,”I won her in a raffle!”
9. Blondie needs a doctor
A young brunette hurriedly entered a doctor’s office complaining loudly that her whole body hurts wherever she touches it.” That’s quite impossible,” says the physician. “Show me again.” The blonde uses her finger once more and pushes down on her elbow and let out a scream of agony. Next, she points at her kneecap and screams again. And then she touches her ankle and screams just the same and it went on for some time. She screams whenever she touches anything. Eventually, the doctor said “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”She says, “No, I’m a natural blonde.” “I thought so,” he says. “It’s your finger. It’s broken.”
8. Blonde mechanics
Two blondes were in a parking lot. The just finished shopping and were trying to unlock the door of their car using a coat hanger.
Blonde 1:”I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”
Blonde 2: “Just hurry up, will you. It’s going to rain soon and the top is down!”
7. The intelligent blonde
Q: “What do you call an intelligent blonde?”
A: “A Golden Retriever.”
6. Blondie goes shopping
A blonde went to the appliance store sale. There she found a bargain item. “I would like to buy this TV set,” she told the salesperson.” Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. The blonde was very angry with the reply that she got. She hurried home and dyed her hair brown, then came back and again. She told the same salesman whom she met the day before, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” was the reply.
The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. She was really puzzeled because she had already dyed her hair another color. This time, she got a haircut plus new hair color. She even threw on a whole new outfit and huge sunglasses. And she waited a few days before she went to the store. When she did, she came upon the same salesman.” I would like to buy this TV set.” “Sorry, but we really don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?” “Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.
5. Blondie goes to the country
A blonde was tired of being made fun of. She decided that it was time to transform into a brunette. After changing hair color, she went out for a drive in the country. After an hour of driving she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep. The blonde thought, “Oh! Sheep! How dorable!”She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,”If I can guess correctly how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The farmer was a gambler and said, “Sure, you can try.” The blonde looked at the flock and gave a number. “157.” The farmer was shocked because the girl got it right! So the blonde masquerading as a brunette, picked one from the flock and started walking to her car. Before she left, farmer hailed her and said.” If I can guess the real color of your hair, will you give me my dog back?”
4. Oh, cruel world!
Q: “What do you call a blond with a chainsaw?”
3. Three blondes go tracking
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across an interesting set of tracks. Blonde number one looked down at the tracks and said, “I think they are bird tracks.” Blonde number two looked down at the tracks and said,”No, dummy, these are deer tracks.” Blonde number three’s turn came and so she went over to the tracks. She looked down, and then got run over by the train!
2. Beauty pageant Q&A
1. The blonde and the lawyer
A blonde girl was sitting next to a lawyer. The lawyer was so bored, and bugged the blonde. He wanted here to play a game of intelligence with him. Naturally, the blonde refused the offer. The lawyer thought he’d offer the blonde a ten to one odds. He said that each time she was unable to answer the question she would then owe him $5. Everytime he could not answer her question, he’d give her $50. The lawyer was a smart cooke and he figured the blonde was a typical dumb blonde. He was confident that he could not lose. The blonde gave the thought a few minutes. Eventually she accepted to play the game.
The lawyer’s first question was this: “Do you know the distance between the Earth and the nearest Star other than the Sun?” The blonde handed him $5 without uttering a single word. It was then her turn to answer the question: “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back down the same hill four?”
The lawyer was flabbergasted. He spent hours thinking on the answer. He even searched online and called a few of his smartest friends for help. Eventually, before the day was through, he decided to give up. He admitted defeat and handed the blonde girl the $50 he owed her for winning the round.
Without another word, the blonde put the $50 bill into her handbag, The lawyer, still frustrated and a little embarrassed asked her, “Well, what is answer?” The blonde girl only looked at him with a little smile on her face. And before she left him, she handed over a five dollar bill.